Will Muschamp Works Through Car Wash Adversity

As I mentioned yesterday, all the SEC head coaches have made or are making their way through ESPN’s campus yesterday and today for the “car wash” experience.  Will Muschamp’s day in Bristol is happening right now, and he’s giving updates through his Twitter feed. Don’t know why they call it a carwash we brought our […]

Behold! ChizBot 1.0

Gene Chizik has a lot on his plate right now.  In addition to being the head coach of Auburn, he named himself the defensive coordinator and linebackers coach for Saturday’s Chick-fil-A Bowl.  That’s quite a bit of responsibility for just one man and could lead to some details being overlooked. However, Chizik is a resourceful […]


2012 Ole Miss Football Schedule Forecast Calls For Downpours Of Pain

Yesterday, after weeks of mild anticipation, the SEC released the 2012 conference schedule, which brought a range of reactions.  Elation could be the word used to describe the mood of Georgia, who learned that for the second straight year that they would not be playing LSU, Alabama, or Arkansas (what a bunch of lucky assholes).  […]

Hey, Look What I Found

(insert “Back in the Saddle”…hahaha, just kidding.  That song SUCKS.  Let’s go in another direction.) So, this place does still exist.  Or maybe it’s more of me remembering it exists.  Anyway, I’m back from driving, driving, driving, driving, family Christmas time, driving, driving, driving, driving, driving, and more driving (being in a car from […]


Merry Christmas From Your Coach

To help maintain a more personal relationship with important donors and boosters, as well as feed the ego monsters, football programs will send holiday, birthday, and thank you cards from the head coach to individuals who have generously given to that program.  Through certain connections, I have run across this year’s batch of Christmas cards.


Inside the Film Room: Fired Coordinators’ Defenses

When the 2011 regular season ended a few weeks ago, a sad thought settled in my mind.  More than likely, I’d never see Willy Robinson, Tyrone Nix, and Ted Roof coach a defense in the SEC again.  In the case of Robinson and Roof, no more laughs as a small brush fire turns into a […]


The Case for Trooper Taylor as Auburn’s Next Offensive Coordinator

If Gene Chiizk is not a functional robot whose only emotional capacity is to give a hearty Ric Flair “WOOOOOO!!!” after citing God-things as reasons for victory, then he most certainly has a sad today.  As you know by now, Gus Malzahn agreed last night to leave his job as Auburn offensive coordinator and become […]

Bowl Pick’em Challenge

Did you know the first three games of bowl season are on Saturday?  Neither did I, or else I would have done this sooner.  So that doesn’t leave you with much time to procrastinate instead of signing up for the group I’ve created.  Same rules as before, confidence points, winners, no spread, blah, blah, blah.  […]


Second Annual Bowl Preview Spectacular Extravaganza Gala

There are roughly a quarter of a million bowl games this bowl season, and you can't be expected to know the names of all the bowls, who's playing, and why you should watch.  Fortunately, I have nothing better to do (at least until I find a shiny object distraction) and am here to give you […]

Somewhat Exciting Things To Come

I’m currently plowing through a review of sorts for all the bowl games, which, thanks to everyone and their brother hosting a bowl game, is taking some time.  If I stay on task, and surprisingly, I like my odds of doing so, it should be up later today.  Also, we’ll be firing up a bowl […]


Lil’ Gunslinger Now Looking For A New Place To Make A Play

In news that’s a couple of days old, Dylan Favre has decided to transfer from Mississippi State to Pearl River Community College in the name of getting more opportunities to love the game more than anyone else and make a play out there.  Favre said that he would play one year at Pearl River and […]


The Belly of the Beast End of the Year Awards

With the close of the regular season, some of us have finally gained temporary relief from the pain of living through a three-month long tire and chemical fire.  For those following teams with, at the very least, marginally competent coaching, the season continues for another three to four weeks in locations where the temperature is […]


Join Us for a Candlelight Vigil

It’s been a rather somber two days here at The Belly of the Beast world headquarters.  Yesterday and today, we lost two of the great warhorses of laughable coordinating when Arkansas made the decision to part ways with defensive coordinator Willy Robinson, and Auburn did the same with defensive coordinator Ted Roof.  Throw in the […]


You Know ALL of This is Gonna Happen

T-shirts, billboards, and car window and bumper stickers.  And you better believe that all TV and radio spots will have “Freeze Frame” playing in the background.  I also wish there was a place where I could bet that Arnold Schwarzenegger, dressed as Mr. Freeze, will do the “Are You Ready?” before the first home game […]

Hugh Freeze Charged with Pulling Ole Miss Out of the Abyss of Suck

After conducting one of the most non-leaky coaching searches in the history of coaching searches, Archie Manning and Mike Glenn, co-chairs of the search committee, arrived at the conclusion that Arkansas State head coach Hugh Freeze was the “best fit” for Ole Miss and offered him the job.  Freeze, as you know by now, accepted […]