Recruiting Season FAQs For Fans

As recruiting season steams towards its peak levels of insufferableness with weekend visits and subsequent reports on those weekend visits, a good number of people out there, even though it is 2013, still struggle over whether or not they should contact one of these 17 or 18-year old high schoolers, offering them a word of encouragement to attend a particular school.  To help clear up any remaining confusion on this subject, I've piled together this list of frequently asked questions, with answers, that should help you if doubt begins to creep in your mind.

I really want [17/18-year old high schooler] to play football for my school.  Should I post on his Facebook wall or tweet at him?
Are you a grown-ass person who is not related to him by blood, not one of his high school coaches, and not one of his teachers?

Yes, I am an adult who is not one of those people.
Then there are no circumstances on God's green earth why you should do either of those things.  Besides, Facebook is only supposed to be used for posting pictures of your children or commenting on a piece of news that's two weeks old.  And Twitter is for spreading GIFs of small woodland animals trying to open doors.

What about calling or texting him?
Well, we've established you're not someone of any importance to him, so this is also gonna be a no.  But, if you are an employed coach at a school recruiting him, that is actually allowed under NCAA rules.

How do I know if I'm an employed coach at a school recruiting him?
Do you have a job?

Yes.
Does your paycheck or direct deposit contain the words "University" or "State"?

No.
Unfortunately, you are not an employed coach at a university.

Man, that stinks.
Yeah, I know it's tough to hear, but you needed to.

But I think I might be pretty good at recruiting.  I mean, my school is pretty awesome.
You very well could be.  Do you enjoy grueling hours in a job that literally never stops, getting very little sleep, living out of airports, hotels, and/or rental cars, eating a steady diet of crap, making thousands of phone calls, sending thousands of texts, bending over backwards for teenagers and their families, being lied to by teenagers and their families, and people saying horrible things about you when you don't land a certain recruit?

That doesn't sound so fun.
You are correct.  It takes a special breed to voluntarily do all of those things.

What if I just made a YouTube tribute video of his high school highlights set to music?
Despite its exceptional creepiness, that you can do.  Just remember to use a different YouTube user name.  You don't want to lose your street cred in the YouTube commenters community.

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