Delta State University, one of Mississippi’s quarter of a million public universities, colleges, and junior colleges, is a school of about 4,000 students located in not-so-scenic Cleveland (but probably still better than the Mistake by the Lake version located in Ohio). However, thanks to its size and location, Delta State has the ability to say, “We’re producing ads we think are funny, involve a giant green okra bringing order and discipline to DSU students, and don’t give a damn about any other details.” And for that attitude that goes against the decision-making grain of every administrator employed by a state-funded institution, we offer an early 20th century tip of the top hat.
Observe the progression of the ads, ordered by the dates on which they were released, as the Fighting Okra becomes more and more elaborate in finding the right motivation tactics for students. He begins his quest of flushing sass and silliness out of the school with a page from Manny Pacquiao’s playbook:
Then he moves to a more physical form of reform. New Orleans Saints BOUNTY-HITTING:
After exploring physical punishment, he turns to psychological terror, with an element of physical danger:
And finally, he turns to a tactic that effectively takes an offending student out with minimal physical effort:
One can only assume the rubber glove portion was given the green light after a discussion at school administrator margarita night.
This leaves us with the important question of what will the Fighting Okra do next? He’s gone from a simple jab to a body cavity search in just three ads. I suppose waterboarding is still a possibility, or maybe throwing a student in the hole in a Warden Norton/Andy Dufresne-fashion, but if we’re going the torture-ish route, I’d like to see someone getting put in the rack. Not the medieval version, but the Lex Luger version:
/pours one out for Macho Man