Potential Vomit Machine Game Of The Week Candidates

In keeping with this week’s apparent theme of vomit, which is the finest of all themes, we make an effort to put more stock in the vomit machine by dedicating a second straight post to its existence. Now, you may be saying, why didn’t you just combine this post and the previous post to reduce […]


New Feature: Vomit Machine Game Of The Week

In an effort to bring you the latest and greatest in premium content that I make up about 15 minutes before I begin writing it, I’m proud to announce a new feature that will run during this college football season. That thing you see above is an actual vomit machine built by scientists* who are […]


Ask Houston Nutt

No need for formalities and lengthy opening paragraphs, as it’s pretty simple how this works. We’ll ask Houston Nutt a question and see what his response is. So, Coach Nutt, did you know that college football starts two weeks from this exact hour when North Carolina and South Carolina kickoff? Giggity.  


Real Amazon Reviews Of Things Arkansas Fans Buy

If you’ve spent any time reading things around here (and bless you, dear child, for you have wasted so much time), you know that I spend most of this space making it up as I go along, AS IF THERE IS ANY OTHER WAY. You also know that in order to squeeze those precious drops […]


A List Of Things That Weigh Less Than The Arkansas Offensive Line

It’s no secret that Bert enjoys his beef, both in meal form and in the form of an offensive line. If you spent any time at all watching Arkansas last year (and his Wisconsin teams before that), you saw Bert calling for run after run after run after run after run because he delights in […]


Tale Of The Tape: Pamplona Versus Tuscaloosa

Sunday marked the annual sprint by Alabama fans to get in autograph lines so that they might have yet another piece of signed Crimson Tide memorabilia to prominently display in their homes. This year’s Alabama Fan Day featured the aforementioned sprinting by people whose last time to sprint was at the 2014 Alabama Fan Day, […]


A Final Look At Gus Malzahn’s Galaga Screen Before Practice Starts And He Can’t Play For Another Seven Months

Today marks the beginning of Auburn’s fall football practice (FEELS A LOT MORE LIKE “SUMMER PRACTICE” AMIRITE), which, for coaches and players, means the end of all things not related to practice, film sessions, meetings, more meetings, meetings after that, and some more meetings later. Basically, anything that could lead to someone enjoying their unique interests […]


A New Steve Spurrier Documentary

The latest buzz in film circles, which I run around in frequently to quite frequently, is all about a documentary that takes a look at Steve Spurrier’s football career and golf game. Having already made the rounds or will soon make the rounds at most of the major film festivals, the documentary has collected a […]


Jack Daniel’s Celebrates Sales Boosts Courtesy Of Tennessee Football

Tennessee, while taking a break this morning from writing checks to coaches it no longer employs and solving the issue of debt, released an image of its football ticket design for 2015. In what is probably the most elaborate ticket design ever produced, which seems like a good use of money for a school that […]


New Favorite Alabama Fan Who Is Seconds Away From Wailing And Gnashing Of Teeth

Because I require steady refills of joy and delight in seeing the spirits of others crushed, especially those who think it is their birthright to never be crushed, I spent part of my Sunday evening watching the end of last season’s Ole Miss/Alabama game. I’ve watched the end of that game enough times now that […]


Season Of Yore Review: Part III

I will do no research to confirm this, but I believe that by appearing here for the third time, the Season of Yore Review series has set a new record for longest-running series on this here site. So BOW TO YOUR KING, OTHER ATTEMPTED SERIES THAT WERE GOOD IDEAS BUT I FORGOT ABOUT YOU. If […]


Mississippi State’s Secret Emoji Keyboard

Earlier today, Mississippi State illuminated the gnat-like attention span of Twitter with a release of an emoji keyboard filled with lots of different ways to express a version of “Hail State” on your phone. According to the fine folks over at For Whom The Cowbell Tolls, this is the first of its kind in college athletics, […]


A Look At Every Touchdown Scored By Houston Nutt’s Team After He Got Fired

While enjoying some fresh, delicious Internet delivered straight to my computer this morning, I ran across this video of every single goal scored in the 2014 World Cup. Checking in at just over 28 minutes long and highlighting events that are over a year old (GIVE US NEW THINGS, INTERNET), you may think there’s no way […]