The Belly Of The Beast Gives Back: Helping LSU Raise Money

If you haven’t been paying attention to the goings on in the state of Louisiana, it would not surprise you in the least to learn that Louisiana politicians have made money disappear because that’s how the operation has worked since the French started showing up about 300 years ago. However, it might, depending on your […]


Scientific Analysis Of How Bad Peyton Manning Was In Super Bowl 50

Overshadowed by his impending retirement and people furious over a player not cheerily vomiting clichés as answers to dumb questions, Peyton Manning’s Super Bowl performance has not received the proper recognition it deserves. Manning, who finished the regular season tied with Ryan Mallett in quarterback rating (67.9), was bad enough that the Broncos spent most of the game refusing to upgrade […]


Let’s Arrange The Recruiting Rankings Based On Recent Feats Of Strength

Another National Signing Day has come and gone, which means we’re now just inside of a year from doing it all over again, with probably even more yelling and hopefully a recruit who announces his decision through skywriting or the services of Nic Cage. It also means the recruiting rankings have been finalized, which affords […]


Celebrating the five-year anniversary of Houston Nutt’s Last Recruiting Class

Today marks the fifth anniversary of Houston Nutt’s final recruiting class at Ole Miss, and, God willing, NOT HIS LAST IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL*. If you recall, after signing the 2011 class, Nutt was fired roughly nine months later, with three games remaining in the season. However, he was allowed to coach those final three games, just to […]


Yearly Public Service Announcement: Don’t Listen To The Siren Song Of Tweeting At Recruits

Fewer than 14 days remain from now until National Signing Day*, signaling the exponential increase of recruit-related tweeting, website dot com posting, and whatever it is that happens over on Facebook. Unfortunately, while teenagers across the country wrestle with the biggest decision of their young lives, a large portion of recruit-related Internet #content is directed […]


7th/8th Annual (?) College Bowl Pick ‘Em Challenge For Achieving Excellence Awards Show

Live from the Belly of the Beast international headquarters located in a recently foreclosed strip mall, it’s the 7th/8th Annual CBPECFAE Awards Show! With an acronym that rolls right off the tongue, I’m sure this show will go quite smoothly. This year’s contest saw 18 combatants strap up, enter the arena, and attempt to club each […]


Vaya Con Dios, 2015 College Football Season

With yet another Alabama national championship complete and the championship trophy coming soon to Walmarts across Alabama for glamorous photo shoots, the college football season has come to a close. It was your standard season in which the eventual national champion slid into its conference championship game (and likely the playoff) by way of a fourth-and-25 […]


Doing Clemson A Solid By Breaking Down What Works Against Alabama

As a fan of a team that has casually brushed aside* Alabama for the past two seasons, I’m more than qualified to offer some insight into what a team has to do to cause agony and outrage in the Yellowhammer State. And because I am generous and would not like to see Alabama squeeze any joy out […]


The SEC Has At Least Two Flaws (UGH), But So Do These

The SEC plowed through this year’s version of bowl season with a record of 8-2, avoiding perfection thanks to Texas A&M and Florida’s disgust of owning functional offenses. Of course, the fault in not achieving 10-0 doesn’t lie with Texas A&M and Florida because everyone knows the conference SHOULDA SENT THE TIDE TO PLAY ALL THEM […]


Let’s Use Belk’s Experts To Predict The Final Score Of The Belk Bowl

Mississippi State and NC State are just hours away from the battle of the Belk where the winner will be showered with comfortable pants, casual shirts, and versatile pullovers for the remainder of their lives. It promises to be…wait, what? No pants or any clothing? Just a trophy? Well, that makes sense, but I don’t […]


Important Announcement

Well, look at this. Something new in this space. Don’t get too excited because it’s not actually a new idea being vomited forth, but, as the title indicates, an announcement. So I guess it’s only new in that these exact words have never been written here before. YOU ARE EXPERIENCING HISTORY, FRIENDS. Anyway, my apologies […]


7th/8th Annual (?) College Bowl Pick ‘Em Challenge For Achieving Excellence

Thanks the unmatched power of the unrelenting march of time, this fair site’s annual bowl pick ’em challenge has once again arrived at the doorstep. Like previous challenges, it promises to be more energetic and violent than last year’s, meaning this year, you could participate in the most energetic and violent challenge to date. WHAT A TREAT, […]


Important Will Muschamp Commentary

Yeah, I don’t know why either. Look, I hear you. Yes, you’re right, he did get fired right after losing to South Carolina in 2014. Oh, no doubt, being in the same division, they saw the whole disaster up close. They even went 3-1 against Florida with him there, which never happens at South Carolina. I […]


The Perpetually Late Recap: Week 13

Appearing at the beginning of each week, this will always show up in an untimely fashion. During this special time, we’ll review what we learned from the weekend’s games, note my terrible picks against the spread, celebrate those who threw interceptions, and look forward to the coming weekend. WHAT WE LEARNED Arkansas 28, Missouri 3 If I were […]